It's really ironic and funny at the same time how life always gives us back what we rightfully deserve. Be it delayed by a few years, a few seconds, or even by a lifetime.
I have always believed in Karma eversince I was old enough to understand its meaning. "Ayan, na karma ka 'no?" my friends would often say when I get bad luck and they feel its just a form of "atonement" for something I've done which I shouldn't have. I usually shrug and say it's nothing. But deep inside I would know that I have paid for whatever debt I owed.
While driving home from work on the 24th, that was around 5:00pm, Karma came out to get me. Actually, it came in the form of a dog.
I was cruising along a side road near Makati and San Andres's boundary, when this dog suddenly crossed the road. I knew right there and then that I would crash. I tried to veer left and the dog backtracked. I still hit it. I felt the thud as my front tire hit its body. Then I was lifted off my seat and sent flying about 2 meters away from my motorcycle. I felt my helmet bounce once, twice, thrice and scrape the pavement. My left arm intsinctively clutched my abdomen and my right arm was placed around my nape. Everything happened so fast that I had no time to comprehend exactly what happened.
The passengers of the car behind me alighted and checked my injuries. A cab driver stopped to turn Lora (my bike) off and check for damages. I was still on the pavement as I was asked to move my feet, which to my surprise I could still do. Those guys were quite shook up, I could tell. Someone offered to take me to the hospital, but I declined.
When I felt that I was ready to stand up, the cab driver took my hand and helped me up. He told me to rest awhile and call someone if I lived nearby. I guess I looked like such a mess. I discovered that my imitation crocs were totally screwed up. The left shoe was split open from toe to pinkie and my left foot was scraped to no end. That was when I felt the pain. I wondered how I could drive home with my shoe split that way.
I decided to go home first and assess whatever happened.
Driving was so painful that tears were streaming down my cheeks and was getting mopped up by the foam of my helmet. Finally reaching our gate, I felt I could contain the pain no longer and told Nina to hurry up. Upon parking in the garage, I immediately told Iris to please tend to my wounds. My sisters all stared and asked what happened when they saw that I looked like hell.
Ate Aileen told me to go to the hospital to have the baby monitored. Iris went with me to Manila Doctor's emergency room and had the baby and my injuries checked. Good thing there were no broken bones. Just a bruised body and scared soul. I soon got to listen to the baby's heartbeat. It was beating so fast (but it was normal for an unborn baby), and I couldn't help but smile.
When we finally arrived home, Iris and I feasted on lasagna and had a few laughs with my other sisters. It was all in all a good outcome. Because of this injury, I realized that even if I was a pain most of the time to my sisters, they still cared about me. I guess I finally was able to open up to my sisters and somehow received their forgiveness for being such an ass for the majority of my life.
Christmas Eve was spent with Nina and my sisters, with Nina being the star of the night while she opened her presents. She truly is blessed to have aunts like my sisters, who love her so much. I gave her an Island Princess Barbie (her wish since October), and received loads more of toys and gifts from my sisters and parents. She was so excited with her gifts and was not able to sleep until 3:30 am of December 25. We slept in the living room and by 7:00am, she was up and about, all worked up with the presents she was not able to try out the night before.
I remember Ate Aileen saying that I should have sold my motorcycle months ago, and the accident was my Karma for having commited so many mistakes and wrong doings this year. I guess, in a way she's right. Mommy told me way back in April or May to sell the motorcycle to compensate for my financial problem, but I blatantly refused to do so. I felt that if I sold Lora, I would be losing the only thing that made me happy aside from Nina. Lora was my escape buddy, my partner in crime and gimmicks, my tour guide and my friend.
Last Christmas, Lora was not yet with me and I spent that special day with Nina and my sisters. New Year came and I was with the person whom I thought would also be with me this year. But it was not to be. He off and knocked up someone, eventually got married. Christmas past was another one of those Christmases I remember as a kid, wherein I'd catch myself staring at the twinkling lights on our window and I would get that feeling that I was so lonely. I do not know exactly why I felt this way every Christmas Eve as a child. It just happened.
I hope that wherever Karma and the ghost of Christmas Future lead me, I would still have the people I love in it. Mommy, Daddy, Ate Aileen, Ate Dindin, Iris, Nina, my new baby and Buddy. Though I may still be an asshole in the years to come, I hope I would be able to lessen it and think more of others rather than myself all the time. A new year is about to enter, and new challenges must be faced. I hope He would grant me the strength to surpass what He may give me, and not merely run away as I am so used to doing. May He give me peace of heart and peace of mind, to be able to rear my children properly, to be there for them and not just provide the basics. May He always watch over my family, for many Christmases more to come.