A Travellerspoint blog

Thoughts on Unrequited Love

Money Can't Buy Love

It may seem very romantic to look into rose colored glasses and love someone with all your heart and soul and you feel it doesn't matter if they love you back. Reality is very much different. It could be heart-breakingly unbearable to go through this type of pain, to have an unrequited love. You may grovel for days, weeks, months or years for a love that you know will never be yours. You'd torture yourself each day that passes and the object of your affection seems oblivious to your charms. This love may eat you alive, slowly, bringing you to the edge of insanity, on the brink of obession. It will cut deep everytime your beloved rejects you or sets you aside. This love will consume your entire being, leaving you with nothing but a sliver of what you used to be.

This may lead you to doing all sorts of crazy things. You'd do anything to impress your beloved. You may shower her with gifts, trinkets, attention. You may spend thousands just to make an impression on her and none of these will work. Not if she really isn't into you. Money can't buy you love my friend. It may be good enough for fake friends and gold diggers, but real people won't fall for that. So, you are left with nothing but your shattered heart and dark thoughts.

People handle pain differently. Some would face it head on and fight till the end. Some would give up and look for amusement elsewhere once the initial pain has worn off. Still, a handful would become so desperate that they would choose to end it by taking their own lives.

My friend, ending your life because your beloved refuses to love you is not a way out of pain. An attempt to take your own life is an act of selfishness and cowardice. Yes, that's what you are. A selfish coward. Deal with it. Move on.

How? You say.

First, acceptance. That's the truth, the reality of things. Your heart is broken, you've been hurt. There is a physical pain in your chest and it sometimes feel like you may be having a heart attack, but yes, acknowledge the fact that it hurts and that you have been rejected. Pamper yourself and don't waste away your time and resources. Take baby steps. One foot in front of the other. You'll eventually work things out and start feeling normal again.

Then, feel safe knowing that this happens to around 90% of the population. Almost everyone I know have suffered the pain of an unrequited love at least once in their lives. Don't think that there's a problem with you or that something is wrong with you. Sometimes, people don't just feel the "zing" for you even though they've rocked your world.

Assess your past. If you've constantly fallen for people who don't love you back, ask yourself, Am I doing this on purpose? Is there a pattern? Check if in the past, you've contantly chosen people whom you know will just reject you or wont love you back.

With this, know that you are not the only one hurting. Studies have shown that the people who rejected love felt guilty and responsible for how the other person felt. And this, my friend, is why your beloved may feel it very difficult to tell you up front that she doesn't love you. Not the way you want her to.

Posted by GingerFerrer 07:05 Archived in Philippines Tagged waterfalls friend love women lgbt friendzone unrequited_love

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